Notice to All Comrades Employees
>
> As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into
> office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping
> with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
>
> 1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a
> common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will
> serve to give those of you who are underachieving a “fair shake.”
>
> 2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including
> overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves.
> This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards
> from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
>
> 3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We
> will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn’t
> apply to us.
>
> 4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every
> week, encouraging it’s workers to continue to work hard “for the good of
> all.”
>
> 5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it’s
> “good to spread the wealth.” Those of you who have underachieved will
> finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had
> success will feel more “patriotic.”
>
> 6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks.
> Don’t feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free
> healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free
> foodstamps, and he’ll let you stay in your home for as long as you want
> even if you can’t pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our
> democratic Congress, you might even get a free flatscreen TV and a coupon
> for free haircuts (shouldn’t all Americans be entitled to nice looking
> hair?) !!!
>
> If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want
> to rethink your vote on November 4th.
October 28, 2008
