March 2009
2 posts
Is that ham I smell?
Top Ten “Porky” Projects:
10-$1.7 million for a honeybee lab 9- $800,000 to study catfish genetics 8- $8 billion train from Las Vegas to San Francisco 7- $5 million for salaries at the Sugar Beet Lab in Michigan 6- $500,000 for the fruit fly research 5- $200,000 for Tattoo removal in Los Angeles 4- $400,000 to train teachers on bullying
……and the bronze, silver and gold go to these...
February 2009
4 posts
101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip ...
January 2009
1 post
November 2008
3 posts
Check this out as you're getting ready for... →
"Republicans Must Respond to Obama" by Cal Thomas
President-elect Barack Obama. Those are difficult words for a conservative to say. Obama ran a brilliant campaign. He defied all odds — from his lack of experience, to what some believed was the obstacle of his race. That America would elect a person of color to the White House 45 years after Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech ought to make us all proud that we are Americans.
Dr....
October 2008
5 posts
Notice to All Comrades Employees > > As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into > office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping > with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness: > > 1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a > common pool that will be divided equally between all of you....
Tip #23
Your = Your
You’re = You Are
If you are going to put something fairly permanent, like a bumper sticker, on your car, make sure the words are spelled correctly.
September 2008
6 posts
Take the Obama Test →
How long could YOU survive? Click and find out!
I could survive for 32 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor
WatchRaiders of the Lost Ark in 30 seconds with bunnies.
August 2008
7 posts
R.I.P. Dave Freeman
Dave Freeman, co-author of “100 Things to do Before You Die” died August 17th from a fall in his home. I am very sad for his family; truly I am. But my warped mind can’t help but wonder…how many of those 100 things did he accomplish?
Pet Peeve #29
People who throw their cigarette butts out their car windows. How is this not littering? Seriously. If those nasty things are too disgusting for you to put in your car ashtray or garbage, what makes it ok for them to be left on our streets, sideways and parking lots?
Beware…if I ever get a police badge……
Looking for something to make for dinner?
Look no further! Straight from 1974, http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html has all your favorite Weight Watchers recipes you thought you’d finally recovered from. Featuring:
Who knew?
Ah….perfection!
Or how about a refreshing snack:
Love the brandy snifters! Classy!I know, it *looks* like a homemade pudding pop, but it’s not! It’s frozen coffee!!! Watch out...
Did you know....
* If shop mannequins were real women, they would be too thin to menstruate and bear children.
* There are 3 billion women on the planet who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do.
*If Barbie were a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours. Because of her unrealistic proportions, she could not balance on her long legs and tiptoes.
* Twenty years ago models weighed 8% less...
July 2008
4 posts
Pet Peeve #14
Spoiled, indulged kids who grow up to be spoiled, indulged adults that go on to create another generation of spoiled, indulged kids.
“Once Jesus comforts your agenda, he’s not Jesus anymore.”
– Andrew Greeley
Rainy days...
Rainy days are not meant to be spent in an office or cubicle. I’m not talking about that light, refreshing rain that produces a rainbow minutes later. You know the kind of rain I mean….when the sky gets so dark the street lights go on, the thunder rattles the windows, and the little hail pellets clink on the roof. Those days are meant to be spent in the coziness of your own home, with...
